Our Mended Hearts

The last few days Tory and I have constantly been saying to each other, “Do you remember what we were doing right now a year ago?” We have been saying that because a year ago from Saturday, a turn of events made our already fragile world shatter.

I must explain a few things before I start our little story. My sister and her family had just flown in from Oregon and were meeting my parents at my home, so my sister’s family could go back to our hometown to attend a funeral. It was Friday evening, February 9, 2007, I had spent all day in Michelle’s hospital room (which was my daily routine) with my sister and mother. We left to do some quick shopping for my upcoming wedding anniversary and on the way out of the hospital I ran into Michelle’s Cardiologist. We talked for a brief moment and he said he would drop in to to see her.

I did my shopping quick so that I could hurry and pick Tory up so he could go to work. Tory met me in the driveway in front of our home and told me that he just had a call from the hospital saying we needed to come in and discuss Michelle with the Pediatric Intensivist and Cardiologist. My heart broke.

The Intensivist told us that Michelle had had another “spell” just as her cardiologist had come to see her. I don’t really remember much of the conversation, I just remember crying. What I do remember was that they were giving us the option to attempt one more procedure, but we would need to leave immediately for Doernbecher Children's Hospital. They told us she most likely would not survive without it. We discussed how they felt she would do well if we chose to go. We wanted to give her one more chance to fight and so we went.

There are no coincidences in life, my sister and her family were there by chance, my parents only there to pick up my sister, Tory had two sisters that had just come to town for a visit, and Tory’s twin brother and sister-in-law had chosen months ago to move here from warm and beautiful Las Vegas for school. We were not alone that night, we were surrounded by our loved ones who gave us the support that we so desperately needed.

The transport team that took us were two of the most wonderful people that I know and work with. My dad drove all night with Tory to help him get to the hospital. The nurse that admitted Michelle that night in that hospital so far from home was a nurse we knew from our last time there and was one we loved and trusted. The next morning they took our little Michelle to the Cardiac Catheter Lab to try and fix her heart. They seemed very calm and assured that they would be able to go in, do what needed to be done, and bring her back to us. If only life really worked that way.

They came back rather quickly and no longer looked so calm and assured. They told us that they had called the on-call Pediatric Cardiac Surgeon and he would be in that night to discuss our options. What?!?! They were supposed to be the option to fix our problem.

Tory and I felt as if our hearts were being ripped apart, no one should have to make the decisions we had been making for the last several months and especially not this decision. The surgeon came in that night and told us about the surgery they would need to do, what it entailed and the risks it had for our little girl. We had previously decided that we were done with surgery and would not go through with it, but when we looked at each other right then, we both knew that this had to be done and we gave our consent.

That morning, a year ago today, we sent our baby off to surgery one last time. Before she had left, Tory and my father, blessed her that she might choose if she wanted to stay here with our family or return to heaven. You can understand how nervous we were during that surgery. Knowing how it could end, but not knowing how it would.

Well, we all know now how it did end. She is such an amazing girl. We count everyday that she is with us as such a blessing. We love her and we love how much she has made our family grow. Her little heart may have been born broken, but she has healed all our hearts through her love. Here is a little slide show we made of her during this last year, starting the morning of February 11, 2007.

I know that we have to thank so many people for what they have done and given to us. We have felt all your prayers, and appreciated all of your kind thoughts, words, and service. All three of us thank you all, our friends and family and even some whom we have never met before, for everything.